Life and me, it’s a love hate relationship. Sometimes you feel like you’re on top of the world, sometimes you don’t.
John 12 “25 He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
Waaay back in 2006, I got saved…..I hated the world(all vanity), I always felt like it was all BS. (by product of being ignorant and uneducated) Then it was revealed to me that I had a choice of being miserable in my flesh or be grateful and blessed from deep inside my heart, in a much different world. When I was gradually falling deeper and deeper into living life without any real hopes or goals, I knew I wanted to find something or someone to save me. Heck, I always thought it was going to be a girl that changed my life….but no it was a man....….errr…son of man….err….Jesus.
When you’re in high school, you have dreams of becoming something great in the world. My cousin always wanted to become a publisher of a magazine, kind of like that 70 year old guy who loves rabbits……actually exactly like that guy.
If you ask me, I always wanted to die. Not trying to be melodramatic, but ever since like my sophomore year in high school, I literally always dreamed of dying. Not pitifully, like from a disease of some sort or in a freak accident. I always pictured myself going out gloriously like in a shootout with cops or dying in a war earning the “Medal of Honor” or diving in front of a bullet for a physically handicapped child genius who loves manatees who happened to be in the crossfire of an armed robbery at a liquor store, or at the least getting hit by a wealthy drunk driver where my family can receive some financial compensation after the grieving. Point being, I hated living. The temporary joy I got out of partying and or other alternate methods to escape reality was becoming a burden on me, not to mention the health detriments. Reality sucked. Life sucked. It was literally Fudt the world, Me against the World.
“Why I’m I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?” You have to hate your life in this world and be ready to bear the cross for the glory of God, who saved you from living a meaningless life in the world.
I no longer hate life, but the dream of dying for a purpose remains. I realized how silly it is to die in a midst of violent mayhem for self glory and a lasting legacy of “manliness”. Really, really silly, I mean whatever sense of pride felt and whatever lasting legacy left in the world would be completely offset and surpassed in worth by the eternal burning in hell I would have been subjected to after this supposed glorious death. Or God could’ve just given me testicular cancer like that guy from Fight Club, who due to some male hormonal deficiency or something, grew breasts, but no. God gave me life…with purpose. I love life. I have a purpose to die for….rather live for.
Hate it or love it, we only have one life to live in this world. Where are you headed and was it worth it? I know even in my own spiritual failures, I have been given a promise that can never be taken away, and for that reason I love life.
God bless.
Jimmy
John 12 “25 He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
Waaay back in 2006, I got saved…..I hated the world(all vanity), I always felt like it was all BS. (by product of being ignorant and uneducated) Then it was revealed to me that I had a choice of being miserable in my flesh or be grateful and blessed from deep inside my heart, in a much different world. When I was gradually falling deeper and deeper into living life without any real hopes or goals, I knew I wanted to find something or someone to save me. Heck, I always thought it was going to be a girl that changed my life….but no it was a man....….errr…
When you’re in high school, you have dreams of becoming something great in the world. My cousin always wanted to become a publisher of a magazine, kind of like that 70 year old guy who loves rabbits……actually exactly like that guy.
If you ask me, I always wanted to die. Not trying to be melodramatic, but ever since like my sophomore year in high school, I literally always dreamed of dying. Not pitifully, like from a disease of some sort or in a freak accident. I always pictured myself going out gloriously like in a shootout with cops or dying in a war earning the “Medal of Honor” or diving in front of a bullet for a physically handicapped child genius who loves manatees who happened to be in the crossfire of an armed robbery at a liquor store, or at the least getting hit by a wealthy drunk driver where my family can receive some financial compensation after the grieving. Point being, I hated living. The temporary joy I got out of partying and or other alternate methods to escape reality was becoming a burden on me, not to mention the health detriments. Reality sucked. Life sucked. It was literally Fudt the world, Me against the World.
“Why I’m I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?” You have to hate your life in this world and be ready to bear the cross for the glory of God, who saved you from living a meaningless life in the world.
I no longer hate life, but the dream of dying for a purpose remains. I realized how silly it is to die in a midst of violent mayhem for self glory and a lasting legacy of “manliness”. Really, really silly, I mean whatever sense of pride felt and whatever lasting legacy left in the world would be completely offset and surpassed in worth by the eternal burning in hell I would have been subjected to after this supposed glorious death. Or God could’ve just given me testicular cancer like that guy from Fight Club, who due to some male hormonal deficiency or something, grew breasts, but no. God gave me life…with purpose. I love life. I have a purpose to die for….rather live for.
Hate it or love it, we only have one life to live in this world. Where are you headed and was it worth it? I know even in my own spiritual failures, I have been given a promise that can never be taken away, and for that reason I love life.
God bless.
Jimmy
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